Him

People thought being at my age and yet still single was always because i am choosy, picky or there is no way that I am single.Well, I am not really single perhaps you could say I am single but my heart has already been taken. How cliche of this eh? Things happened for awhile, let's say it's been since 5th October 2013. It took me by surprised how far we have come to.

Last Friday was supposed to be just lunch since he had plans for the night. It came as a surprised that he came to find me straight after his drinks with friend even though we already made plans to meet on Saturday night for movie. I realized I had doubts about his intention, if is purely because he do miss me that much or others? I don't know. I know I have a "demon" in me that doesn't trust a person fully. I need to be strong to overcome this and to understand that i have no intention to feed this demon. I believe if a person choose to lie or betray, it is their choice. Whatever outcome comes from it, it is upon themselves and not for me to play judge. I am not a saint nor am I a moral judge. I am only in control of how I react and my mind.

Since I have decided to go full ahead to love him as him, I should learn to let go and trust how this go. It might blossom or I might end up getting hurt, I don't care anymore. I just don't want to regret not giving myself 100% into this relationship with him. I only can pray and wish for the best outcome for both of us.

Every single small things that he did for me makes me love him even more everyday. His words does sting me but his actions shows otherwise. Complicated man but I still believe a man speaks louder with his actions though his words might say otherwise. I hope I am right. I won't give up on us.